Each Moment, Each Choice Shapes the Miracle of Your Life

Eleanor Roosevelt said it perfectly when she said, "In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility." Every moment presents a new opportunity for us to make a choice that will mold our situation for the better or the worse depending upon our state of mind. We can choose to either improve our state of being by our choice or make it worse. Life is simply defined through our choices and each moment counts. Life is simple constructed through a series of our choices that is fabricated into the definition of our character. Few people are able to deconstruct life into this simple conceptual understanding. Understanding life at this level is like looking at the board game of life; you can see the bigger picture and it gives you a greater advantage over your peers. Some will never be able to see past the immediacy of their problems or circumstances. They will never see that they are bigger than their problems, they feel that their problems are bigger than them. Thus they shrink inside their worlds and never look beyond. This causes them to stay consumed within their worlds. These stories are tragedies. Learn from them, don't live a tragedy live a miracle. Each moment you are alive is a miracle, each choice that improves your situation is molding the miracle you call your life and creating the dream you call your life.

Life is a DREAM for the WISE

Twenty eight years old and I feel better than ever! There comes a sort of polished womanhood and sophistication at this age. I feel like a bottle of wine that just seems to be getting more expensive over time. A rare sophistication and understanding of the world around me from the years that I have lived previously. Growing up in Vegas I have certainly lived a fantasy life. My eyes have seen the blueprints of dreams brought to reality. It has truly been fascinating to watch and take in such overwhelming experiences. I have been blessed to walk such an exciting journey. With each new day I embark on my own dream that I like to call reality. This is my life and this my movie. I am the director, Or am I? That seems to be a plausible question. I like to believe that I make the cuts and that I say what goes. An artist at my innate nature, life behind these eyes is somewhat of a whimsical journey. Lately, I've had a slight shift in my consciousness. I've been noticing something greater than myself at work. My ego would like to believe that it is the Great Director of this movie I call my life. However, contrary events have put this reality into question. It has truly been an interesting and awe provoking shift in perspective. It's a whole new world for me. A world that I no longer control. A world that is somehow dictated by something larger than myself. However, don't misconstrue my words just as Nelson Mandela once said I still believe that I am the master of my own destiny. I just now believe that everything and every person I meet in my life is a sort of destiny. That I was meant to meet that person and that each event and circumstance has a profound impact and ripples into my future. I take my life serious today and mental clarity and focus in each decision I make is of the utmost importance to me and my destiny. Each moment ripples into the future, every second counts, so get out of your head and into the moments of your life and make them count. Live the dream we call reality. As Henry David Thoreau said, To be awake in thy dream is to live the truest Life".

Perplexed.... Don't Be Stagnant....

If you are in anyway perplexed with the current situation of your life. Do not be stagnant in your life. Sitting around contemplating your circumstances will do absolutely nothing for you. If a behavior does not serve you let it go. Observe your situation and determine what behavior is not serving you? Then decide what can be done to your routine to change your circumstances?You must understand that your circumstances did not happen over night and these circumstances will not be undone overnight. Thus have patience with yourself. Keep in mind that gradual change is lasting change. Each day make resolve to work towards making  changes in yourself to remove this perplexed feeling inside your soul. Whatever this emotion is that is making you feel uncomfortable, have comfort that you have the power to make it go away. Our mind is such a powerful mechanism we can control and dictate our emotions. Our mind is metaphorically similar to a pilot within a cockpit. Learn to harness your emotions in a healthy and beautiful manner so that it serves you. This is a fine art that takes many years of practice. A practice that is well worth taking up. Many people will never process their emotions. Instead they choose to blame the external world for all of their problems and they aimlessly search for happiness outside themselves. This is similar to searching for a mirage in the Sahara desert, it's a feeble attempt. Learn from other's mistake so that your path can be one of prosperity and warmth versus sorrow and pain. Until next time love yourself and others.

The Miracle of Being Alive

"Many people are alive but never touch the Miracle of  being alive,"  Thich Nhat Han says this in an Interview with Oprah Winfrey. I am deeply intrigued by Buddhist monks and their profound serenity. Their way of living inspires me. A study comes to mind when I contemplate this interview. The study depicts a monk and his ability to alter his internal body temperature in order to spend the night in a freezing cave. To me this is absolutely impeccable. It just reaffirms the impact that our thoughts space has on the physiology of our body. It is so imperative to be conscious of our thoughts because they truly mold who become as human beings. We have the ability to change our world through our thoughts. In fact you can change your world within this next sentence if you really truly desired too. Desire is what truly motivates us as human beings. We desire things in this world whether it be the desire for another being or the desire to better ourselves and our lives. Realistically we should have the desire to internally change and live better because external gratification is never sustainable. As human beings we are intelligent creatures, whether or not we use this intellect is personal choice. We have logic and we have emotion. There is an old adage that goes logic over emotion. Typically an intelligent human being functions with logic over emotion and an individual functioning at a lower level of consciousness uses emotion over logic. Be conscious of this simple fact and break this inferior behavior. Constantly strive to better yourself with each new day. Grow like a flower in nature so you may blossom into the beautiful bright soul that you were destined to be.

It's not about the Money, It's about LOVE

Living in Southern California, it is easy to get distracted by monetary persuasion. Guys are constantly throwing what they own around as a means to show dominance or alphamale-ism. Little do they know that alphafemale-ism dominates in every aspect.  In any case I have pretty much seen it all and heard it all from living in Vegas. This isn't my first rodeo so I understand that money can't buy me love and trust me at one point in my journey I believed that it could. That only led me into getting engaged to the wrong man at the wrong time. At the time I was in love with someone else and I unfortunately hurt both of  them deeply. In one situation I should have had the strength to say no and in the other situation I should have had the strength to not give in so easily and I shouldn't have been so readily available. In any case, I hurt both of them deeply and one word changed everything for me. However, I don't regret that one word because I believe that everything happens for a reason. Every choice we make, every person we meet, and every avenue we choose to walk down it is all meant to be. It is important to have clarity of mind when making decisions. Each decision whether big or small alters our life in some kind of way, whether we realize it or not. Decisions ripple into our future, in the same way that an ocean wave ripples upon the shore. It is important to be conscious of this simple yet profound fact. Be present in the moments of your life, practice listening to the words your hear and integrating them into your mind. Stay connected to your heart because it will never lead you astray. Avoid letting outside opinions or superficial distractions influence your decision making. In the end these things will only cause you more grief and adversity. If your intentions are pure and you treat those around you well, you will live a beautiful life and even more beautiful legacy behind I promise you that.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

It is a proven scientific fact that energy flows where attention goes. With that being said where is your thought space. Does your mind wander in the positive arena or the negative arena? "The Secret," unveiled ancient knowledge that previously was only provided to the elite. Knowledge unlocks the chains of ignorance, and expands the mind to limitless levels of consciousness. The majority of society exists in the lower levels of consciousness. The general consensus of consciousness is what we typically equate to be the standard definition of normal. However, normal is a stasis term which has the possibility to evolve with human knowledge and conscious expansion. At the very core of our existence each human being is united by a common truth, a common understanding of our soul's consciousness. Have you ever noticed the similarities between another human being's experiences and your own? Well this is the very truth in which I am talking about. This truth is the truth that unites all of our journeys. The struggles and the adversities that we consider to darken our paths are the very things that unite our consciousness. These perils that we face are our greatest blessings but for some reason we still consider them to be our biggest curses. It is all a matter of perception; a way of looking at our particular situation. If we fail to see the dimensions of our existence, we will fail to see the dimensions of our existence. If we can not face our struggles, we will never see our joys. We must have the strength to face the tough times, in order to truly have the perspective to appreciate the luxuries of the sweeter times. Face yourself, stop looking outside of yourself for a solution that can only be found within yourself. Until next time be good to yourself so that you may be good to others.

Celebrities Can't Live Without Them

He tells me he watched the UFC fight. I let him know my friend Arianny is the ring girl. He shows me her face that is tattooed across his body. It is strangest thing to me to see her face staring at me from his body. She stares at me like the twilight zone. It so amazing to watch someone grow up and then become famous. Arianny is such a sweet girl and she has become internationally known for her work in the U.F.C. I am so proud of her, she has was worked hard to get where she is. I have noticed she has even evolved her brand name into a jewelry line. This topic has led me to me think all of the famous people I have met over the years growing up in Vegas. If I named all the people from working at the Wynn this blog would drag on. However, the list is pretty phenomenal. One day I was suppose to meet Yoko Ono but unfortunately her flight was cancelled. That would have been one of my highlights. I think the most phenomenal person I was ever in the room with was the Dali Lama. I never had the chance to meet him but I saw him from the distance and that was good enough for me. It so interesting the type of presence that famous people bring into the room. I mean they are only  human beings but the dynamic they bring is like a whirl wind of cosmos. Speaking of famous people I grew up with Julianne and Derek Hough were my neighbors in my childhood years. I only met them once at a neighborhood block party on the fourth of July. Their parents always had them out of the country dancing. Looking back I wish that they had been home more often. That way I would have been able to play with them. However everything happens for a reason and I firmly believe in that. Nothing in God's universe is a coincidence. The people we meet, we are meant to meant, the events that happen are meant to happen. So make good choices and good things will come your way. Chase your dreams and live a life beyond your wildest dreams.

Leaving A Legacy of Love Even After Death

            Written by Sarah Grace Windham My Best Friend....................................................

      I've never been afraid of death. Even as a child, I've been able to view the cycle of life in a most objective manner. From the moment of birth, we are dying. Death is simply the price of life. I have felt a certain pity for those who cannot stare death in the face and embrace it.

     Tonight I took my daugther on a late evening stroll. She loves the moon. She loves for me to tell her stories about the moon. She loves to tell me stories about the moon. And as I walked hand in hand with her, her little hand squeezed mine and she looked up into my eyes and she smiled her sweetest smile. 

    I felt my heart tighten just a little and in that very moment I was afraid. I was afraid of death. Afraid I wouldn't get to see her grow into the beautiful woman I know she will become. Afraid I will miss even one of her 'firsts.' Afraid of her finding her way in life alone. Afraid. It is amazing how love transforms us. It changes how we think...how we feel....what we become....it changes the course of our life.

       I realized tonight that I must live every moment 'in the moment' and stop worrying about the crap that truly doesn't matter. Life is a collection of moments...a breathe within eternity. I have to teach my daughter the life lessons that are truly important and show her - not just tell her - what love truly is. And if I am successful, the love I have for her will live on in her long after my time on earth has passed.

We're Not Going To Take It

(CELEBRITY LOOK A-LIKES FOR MY FRIENDS YOU WOULD BE SHOCKED AT HOW CLOSE EACH ONE OF THEM RESEMBLES THESES ACTRESSES)

Laughter infuses our conversation. She says John get back in the car and the she tells him you can take that check and shove it up your ass unless your going to double it's worth!! I am shocked but amazed at this new found strength. My best friend is blossoming each day into this new woman with so much strength and attitude. From fierce pumps to setting healthy boundaries, she is expanding her horizons. This blog is meant to define the ways in which we used to tolerate our incompleteness. The ways in which we use to settle for the less version of ourselves versus the best version of ourselves. I don't know about you but I refuse to not evolve towards the best version of myself. I want to function at my full capacity, to grow and learn a valuable lesson with each new day. I want people to respect me, to listen to what I have to say. I don't want people to disregard the words that are coming out of my mouth. I mean what I say when I say it.  You better believe I have a voice and it will be heard. As I write this blog a dear friend comes to mind by the name of Loyce Bowman aka Tone Loc. She was as fierce as fierce could be. In fact, if Webster's dictionary could have a contest entry for an individual photo for fierceness her photo would certainly BE it. This bitch was off the hook. Each friend comes into our lives to teach us valuable lessons. Mrs. Bowman taught me how to be fierce. I will always remember a specific conversation Mrs. Bowman and I had in a hotel room in San Diego. We promised each other we would never let any man walk all over us. Well I can confidently say that I have upheld that promise and there is no doubt in my mind that she has too. I hope that our paths will cross in the near future and I am sure they will soon. She will probably fly out first class with her nails done, hair done, a fierce outfit, and some fierce pumps because she just has it like that. My only hope for her is that at this point in her journey she is the strong independent woman that she has always deserved to be. Until next time stay true to yourself and be kind to others.

Becca inspires FOREVER YOUNG

                                       

Becca so full of life, so full of knowledge, like a young surfer girl ready to ride the wave of life. Last night I hung out with a young girl named Becca. At the age of twenty she was so full of life, that it made me go inside my head and remember my early twenties. What a beautiful and spontaneous time, music was everything and the attention of boys came second in line. Friends of course was the next of motivator of my time . Attention seeking motivation was everything that I did. I was also seeking spirituality. My friends called me a modern age hippy and everything was a groovy good time. I feel like an old fart writing this blog. In any case I know Becca and her friends were fun last night. I felt alive last night, like really alive. She was much was much more confident that I was at her age. She was fierce!! She interacted with others and people were drawn to her. She was happy to be around her friends and take everything in. Oh to be young again, what a beautiful thing. A girl can always daydream always daydream about her early twenties, but all in all I thoroughly enjoy being in my late twenties because of all of the knowledge I have acquired from the mistakes. It was nice hanging out with Becca I look forward to more fun times of feeling alive.

Runaway Bride

I never imagined I would be saying this but I don't want to be a bride at this point in my journey. I am thoroughly enjoying my single-hood with my girlfriends. Exploring my liberty with all my girls is liberating and refreshing. From shopping to late night conversations about the douche bags that come in and out of our lives. We haven't met anyone that sticks yet and I like it that ways because I don't want anyone to rob the most valuable asset that we have with each other which is TIME. I love my girls and the love me. I always imagined getting married as a young woman. Thoughts flooded my mind like; who would be my bridesmaids, what my dress would look like, HOW BIG MY RING WOULD BE, what newspapers would announce the engagement, how my husband would look like, what his profession would be? I always imagined his profession to be an attorney but now I have evolved into believing him to be a prestigious international business owner. However, in recent days I have this overwhelming fascination with famous musicians, but I did listen to the lyrics about falling in love with a music man and I contemplate as to whether or not that is such a good idea. I can't imagine women throwing themselves at my husband on a day to day basis. I have been known to be a jealous woman and I do have a Bonquita side when women do not show respect for other married woman. I just don't understand what the hell woman are thinking when they go after married men. Why don't they understand that woman should be united? Aren't there enough douche bags all ready in the world? Women do not need to contribute to the douche bag syndrome. Trust me when I say it's already bad enough for crying out loud! Ok thats enough ranting about the douche bag syndrome. In any case I never imagined that I the hopeless romantic would not want to get married, but yes I have reached a point in my journey where I can confidently say that I do not want to get married at this point. I always imagined that I would be the sister that would get married first. I was talking to my sister last night and she is ranting on and on about a possible destination wedding in Fiji in the future and blah blah blah. It's crazy how life turns out I always imagined that I would be the first sister to get married and that still might be the case you never know only time will tell but I can tell you one thing that if I get married it will be the event of the season because I will go big or else do nothing at all. Until next time I hope love finds a way in all of your lives. LOVE is amazing it has a way to move mountains. All the great wars in history were because of love. I mean look at Helen of Troy that bitch caused the Trojan War. Good for her she will never be forgotten. She must have been a truly gorgeous woman for all those people to be fighting over her. I wish I could have been her in a past life or maybe she must have felt really bad for causing so many deaths who knows in any case I like being me today and I wouldn't trade my life for the world or all the riches in the world. Have a good day everyone and God Bless.

Human Dynamics.. Probably the most interesting Course of Study

Human dynamics are probably the most interesting course of study. I am so intrigued at way in which humans interact with one another. It is interesting to just sit back and watch. You see the way internal pain is inflicted from one individual to another or on the contrary how internal happiness is shared from one person to another. I have had the pleasure of living in close proximity with a variety of individuals with different personalities in my lifetime and it has truly been an interesting journey. I have had moments of intense anger, moments of intense sadness, moments of intense confusion, and moments of complete perplexity. All in all I have learned that self restraint is key in moments of confusion. It is better to say nothing at all than regret saying something in a moment of haste. It is a waste of energy and valuable time to waste words upon someone who does not value them in the moment or who will misconstrue them for what they are worth. People are put in our lives to teach us profound lessons. Nothing in God's universe is an accident, acknowledge each person that comes in your path and treat them with respect and dignity because they deserve that. Treat them as you would want to be treated. Hurting them is only hurting yourself in the long run and if you are to blind to see that then you are only fooling yourself into oblivion. It hard to acknowledge this simple fact and I too question the lessons that these individuals are teaching me but whom am I to question God's plan for me. I am typically an individual who firmly believes in self expression to the fullest extentiality but there is always a time and a place and one must be conscious of these realms in order to really live a full and purposeful life. I am only human and I must admit that I am not always fully conscious of these realms and the implications of not being fully conscious and overstepping these guidelines or parameters. In any case with each over stepping I learn a valuable lesson and become more and more conscious to not over step these narrow parameters. With each mistake I listen more and my mind becomes more and more quiet. Another valuable lesson that I learned today is a lesson in conversating with others. I generally take the lead in conversations I have a very effervescent personality and I love to shine like the star that I was born to be. I tend to intimidate others with my domineering personality and I refuse to shrink my larger than life personality because others are intimidate. However, with this in mind I must still be conscious to not be to overbearing to listen more than I talk because to listen is truly more rewarding than talking all the time. I have consciously been making an effort to listen more and it has truly been transformational in my life. Until next time you hear from little ole 500 days of SUMMMERRRRRRRRRRRRRR..... 

Stay sweet and be kind to yourself and others.. Ciao.. XOXO

Decisions are LIKE Ocean Waves....

Life is like a wave sometimes you just have to ride it. Decisions are just like waves they ripple into your future. Each decision that you make impacts your future whether you like it or not. So choose wisely my friends choose wisely. Take the time to make your decisions with clarity and precision, otherwise your future will be a damn hurricane and no one likes to weather a hurricane. I would prefer to sit and sun bathe on a boat and take in the beautiful sun rays on a hot summer day versus sun bathing in a fucken hurricane. I know this is a drastic metaphor but this is the implications of our decision making skills upon our lives people. We need to take a step back and realize the impact that our decisions have upon our lives. In the immediacy of our decisions we don't always have the rationale to see this impact, plus our emotions play a major role in our decision making. However, the good old adage logic over emotion hasn't been around for so many years because it has steered us wrong. But we are only humans and we are susceptible to human error thus we are prone to mistakes. Plus mistakes are where we grow and become stronger individuals and life would be boring without mistakes anyways. I personally thoroughly enjoy a good mistake or two throughout my day it adds excitement in the mix. I am not a robot and I intentionally or unintentionally seek the thrill of the adventure of this so called life that we wake up to each day. Sensory overload sensory overload... so many emotions so many dynamics we are faced with and so much excitement that is constantly processed through this little dynamic brain of mine. 500 days of Summer each day each day.. It's truly an adventure everyday that I wake up and I hope that you too can embark on an adventure in your own life. I hope that my blog can inspire you to start your own adventure in your own life or you can just vicariously live your adventure through my life as I plan on making many mistakes because I am a nut job and I am sure my path ahead will be interesting and there are so many doors that I am sure will open and so many doors that I am sure will be slammed shut. But one thing is for sure I will speak what is on my mind and I am not afraid to be who I am and say what I feel. I will leave you with one last thing a Dr. Seuss QUOTE..

500 DAYS OF SUMMER......

Life is an interesting journey. You fall you get up and then you fall in love, only to have your heart broken. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. My life is an interesting journey, I must admit. People are intrigued by me or maybe they are just intrigued by my mind because they think I am bat shit crazy but I am not crazy at all I just have a beautiful intrinsic mind that sees beauty in all things. My life has led me down some pretty interesting paths, ask my family they have literally sent search parties after me. On the good days I have met movie stars, on the bad days I have met bums. However each person regardless of socioeconomic status has each touched my life in a special way because I have learned to looked inside to see each person's soul. I don't judge a person by the way they look I judge them for what is inside. Most people in society judge people by what they see on the outside but not me, not little ole 500 days of sweet Summer. Living in Vegas has jaded me. Everyone thinks that they are special or they have more money than you. They say their parents own this or they own that. Come on give me a break I don't really care I have heard it all. I have also pretty much seen it all. Nothing really phases me at this point in my journey. Superficiality has seen it's day in my reality which is truly a beautiful thing. I no longer chase the green to no avail. Ok fine I still chase the green because I am not perfect but I am getting better. In any case chasing the green leads to a path unseen. It goes no where it never ends because you will never be happy you will want more and more and more money. People wake up the only true happiness is internal happiness. Money gives you fleeting blissful moments it's never sustainable. I come from a middle class family that has broken into to the upper class realms within the last couple years, we live quite comfortably and people are amazed when they walk within our household and they are even more amazed when they see our literal breath taking back yard. We have a cookie cutter suburban yard and a magazine worthy view of the entire city of Las Vegas. My parents have worked hard to have everything that they have and I am not entitled to anything. I have to remember this simple fact when I get this sense of entitlement that many bratty kids get. Humility is the only trait that is proven to counter balance the brat syndrome. In any case I am beginning to take my own journey in life without my parents. In fact I don't want a dime from them I would prefer to take this chapter in my life without any help at all. I want to earn everything on my own because I enjoy the hard work and the effort and the gratification that comes along with that. I don't want people to look at me and think, oh her parents contributed to her position in life. I want them to look at me and think she earned her position in life. In fact I frown upon those who don't understand the meaning of poverty, those who have never struggled or searched for pennies in a couch cushion to eat or survived off of top ramen. Times like these truly build character in an individual. I have lived times like these and in fact I have even lived less glamorous times. However it is neither here nor there because I am learning and living each day and I am growing into a stronger more intelligent woman through these struggles.  I am a spiritual ninja learning tools like a warrior. Life is a struggle but with the proper lessons and wisdom life is a breeze. It's important to listen in life hear to these lessons. Quiet your mind long enough just as you would quiet your mind to hear the breeze among the trees. Until next time make a conscious effort to listen more and talk less you will be amazed at the transformation this simple method will have upon your life.

Rules of Engagement

A wise woman always knows her rules of ENGAGEMENTS if she wants a truly meaningful engagement Touche...

   1. Always choose a gentleman thats interested that values himself and doesn't use woman to make himself feel more superior he should have enough self confidence to feel secure enough within himself.

 2. Seem interested but not to interested. Maybe appear aloof and more interested in others. Men always love a chase. They always want something they can't have.

3. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. My brother is a very intelligent man and he told me that he looks for an equal. So a woman with equal intelligence is very appealing to the opposite sex.

4. Don't flirt with other men for attention. It's very unattractive and unflattering to the opposite sex. To an intelligent man it's an obvious indicator of low self esteem.

5. Good manners are always attractive.

6. That's all that I can think of at the moment. I guess I will have more lessons as I learn them until then have self respect and dignity. Don't see attention give your self attention and be confident in who you are as a person. Listen more and speak less. A good listener is always better than someone who blabbbs and  blabbs about themselves. This world lacks classy intelligent people some educate yourselves and make something of yourselves because it is never to late to start somewhere.. Goodnight its time to put on my pajamas and snuggle in front of the television set for some quality friend time and tv time.

Giving BACK TO THE COMMUNITY

So I spoke with my BOSS the other day and I felt like he spoke to me as if I was his own daughter. It was an amazing conversation. Such an amazing conversation that it still plays through my head even today on this fine Saturday morning. He told me that I should take more time off from work for myself, do what I need to, take it slowly, and work on myself. I said no I want to come back to work NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! The problem with me is that I like to do things my way. It is always the Queen's way or no way at all! The thing that I am learning is that people truly care about me and that they want the best for me but sometimes I refuse to listen because I am too busy talking to ever hear anyone listen. There is a gentleman that likes me but I can't even stand him because he is so cute but he irritates me because he always right. But last night I took his advice and the conversations that I heard amongst the men had me in stitches. I guess I need to take the cotton out of my ears and put in my mouth for a second or two so I can take in the scene of all the beautiful things that are going on around me. In any case back to the subject of this blog giving back to the community, my boss suggested that I take more time off work for myself to focus on the things I enjoy, find myself and give back to the community. I find that when I help other people I truly feel happy. I want to give back to the community. With all this spare time I have managed to pick up. I am doing doing some freelance writing projects that I thoroughly enjoy. My next venture is giving back to the community. I will look to God to open an opportunity down that avenue. For now I will just pray and wait for an opportunity to present itself. Until then I will do my best to keep myself humble. God is good and life is GREAAAT!!.

The Diary of an Untmuted DRAMA QUEEN

Clarification is a key component in seeking a suitor for this young queen. Without clarification any young gentleman can easily be turned into a douche bag. A gentleman at heart soon blurs the lines of discretion and turns flirtation into child's play having his cake and eating as well. Well not with this queen and not on my time. I am a queen to be won and no prince will ever have a queen thank you very much. Take your peasant and take your rags because my riches are gold and your rags are not wanted in fact they are now the very plague to me. I know I am a bitch but I know what I want and I know exactly what I don't want. Thank you very much. Clarification is what I want and lack of clarification pisses me off. What man doesn't want a bitch. A man wants a woman who can put him in his place and if he doesn't than he is just a wimp anyways and he is wasting my time and his time as well. Thank God for blogging it is a place where I can get the steam off my chest without appearing as a complete bitch to the outside world. A place where a bitch at heart can vent all of her problems and appear as an innocent lady to the world. Men make me angry, especially men who really think that they can toy with other people's emotions. Well not at my expense because I am a bitch. I may seem sweet and innocent but don't mess around with my heart because you have another thing coming when you mess around with my heart. I am a woman and I know what I want and I get what I want and now it is clear to me that I was clearly wrong in thinking that I wanted to you. Lets be friends and friends at that is all that I want. I don't like how you treat women I think it's pathetic I hope you don't read this and if you do I hope you don't think I am talking about you.

The little birdie with COURAGE above the REST

There lived a little birdie who felt different from the rest of the nest. She was different because she had courage. She had the courage to express the emotions she felt in her heart. The courage to be genuine even if the other birds didn't like who she was. On the contrary, the other birds tried to fit in. To be apart of but not this little birdie. She knew who she was and she knew it was best to stay true to her heart. So she continued on walking to the beat of her own drum, even in this small confined path of the nest. Until finally one day, she realized it was her time to fly away. The day had come to go into uncharted territory. All of the birdies called her crazy. They called her crazy, even though one day they  too would eventually take the same journey. She ignored their comments because in her heart she knew this was the right thing to do. She felt a mixture of emotions but knew that her heart would never lead her astray. Her heart was the only thing she felt to be connected to God. So she went ahead and quieted her mind and listened to her soul. For days she ignored all the other birdies as they tainted her for having dreams of leaving the nest. This went on for about a week but she listened to heart and she listened to nature. Finally the day came when she took the leap. Thus she leaped and never looked back. She embarked on her journey of life. She pioneered leaving the nest that day and all little birdies grew to respect this birdie with courage. The moral of the story is have the courage to be yourself and listen to your heart.

A mother's LOVE- Either too much OR not enough....

A mother's LOVE can be either too much or not enough....

   Our mothers mold us into the human beings we become. The perfect analogy is a bird leaving the nest. My mother has hand crafted me remote control wings that she would like to put on me as a bird. She has a remote control for these wings. She would like to use this control to direct my every move. As a bird I am being controlled but in nature if you force things they naturally oppose. So this very situation is causing me inner conflict and chaos in my life. A bird should leave the nest as an adult. And as loving as her intentions may be they are harmful. So in order to grow, I must set healthy boundaries and let her know these boundaries assertively and lovingly. I no longer need these beautiful hand crafted wings or the remote control that goes along with them. I must use my own wings that nature has provided me and learn my own lessons as they come along. I must learn how to fly and I must fall on my own. I don't need her help any longer she needs to focus on herself and learn her own life lessons. Letting go of this codependency as harsh as these words may sound. On the opposite spectrum some mothers never teach their children how to fly so they are left to fend for themselves. These particular cases are extremely sad and these children become products of their environment, whatever their environment may be good or bad. Do not judge people be kind to them because you never know the circumstances surrounding their upbringing. At the very core of our existence we are products of our upbringing and ultimately products of our environment. Surround yourself with situations and people who serve you and your life will ultimately serve you as well.

Tell Me What You're Running From....

Tell me what you are running for and or from? Are you running to get away from yourself? Best of luck in your pursuits but in the end these actions will prove trivial. You will eventually have to face yourself so might as well do it now rather than later. Once you face your demons you can remove them and find sustainable bliss versus brief intervals of bliss. I would rather find something sustainable and lasting and put in the hand work. Be a strong woman or man and do the damn deal. You are the common factor in all of your situations so facing and improving yourself will certainly serve you and your particular situation. Discover yourself and who you are. What do you like or what don't you like. If it doesn't serve you let it go. Don't discover what society likes for you listen to your soul and discover what your soul says. Society is based off logic and the soul is based off intuition. Break the conformity that binds you to chains and rediscover the imagination of your heart. Your heart has the ability to overcome mountains. Love every fiber of your existence and forgive yourself from your past mistakes and learn from your them. Hold yourself to higher standards, discover new talents and new hobbies. Have the ability to enjoy silence, meditate, do yoga, listen to your soul. Whatever it is that the moment calls for be present and listen. Best of luck on your journey to self. May it be filled with love, peace, and healing.

Me eyes are closed and I listen to a smooth melody by Rebelution called Running. It's a Jamaican melody that goes,

Tell me what you're running from, she said everything and everyone
Tell me what you're running from, what you're running from
Tell me what you're running from because your past it can't be undone
Oh tell me what you're running from, what you're running from

She wakes up every morning, thoughts weighing heavy on her mind
She's hoping today will be a better day than the ones behind
She's having some trouble getting going, from the fear she's paralyzed
She puts her face into her hands and then she cries

She's so tired, she closes her eyes trying to live up to a standard that the world provides
She's so tired, she closes her eyes trying to live up to a standard that the world provides

No hope for tomorrow, no hope for today
No hope for anything that comes her way
She's so used to feeling empty inside
No reasons to live, more reasons to die
At least that's what she feels inside
Will she ever find the courage to change

She's been running away so long, running away from home
Will she ever get back, I don't know, no I don't know
You can see it in her eyes and you can see it in her smile

If your not learning your not growing and if your not growing your dying.......

The eyes are truly the windows to the soul, they tell more about you then you will care to let on. A wise and graceful woman knows that controlling a situation will never do her any justice. The universe or God is the true controller we are merely just divine instruments to a higher calling for the greater good. Regardless, of how powerful someone's mind may be, they must understand their role in the universe is not to manipulate or control. They must constantly call to mind that God's will be done not their own, or they are heeded to run into unwanted circumstances in the long run.  We are here to build each other  up not tear each other down. It perplexes me to see people who live their lives so unconscious to the mere fact that each action or choice that we make effects each person around us and it has a ripple effect in our lives. For many years I lived my life unconscious to this simple fact of how my actions impacted others. How wrong and naive was I to believe such a fallacy. Being young and vibrant I unconsciously wrecked many lives and many hearts. In retrospect, I understand this sad state of affairs and I no longer want to live my life so carelessly. I want to build up the people in my life not tear them down.  I am growing and I am learning how to live a better life. I am striving to hold myself to higher standards. What this means to me is understanding how my actions impact others in my life. I want to be conscious how simple words or reaching out to someone can impact those around me. Our lives are so chaotic that we lack the understanding of the simplicity of emotion. Fundamentally, one word can alter someone's thinking, one word can detour a conversation, one word can end or begin a relationship. My mind is constantly analyzing and I want the best for myself and those around me. So in order for me to do that I need to surround myself with the winners and the situations that will serve me.   The beauty in life is that with each day we learn valuable life lessons. However lessons require us to gather material and deduct information from this material. This material is gathered over time within the days of our lives and time heals heals everything. So people move forward and grow with each new day. Because if your not learning your not growing and if your not growing your dying.



Be good to yourself and others.

Give More and Take Less

Learn to give more and take less in your life. The universe will truly give to you if you let it. The only thing you need to do is be still and quiet long enough to allow the universe to do so. We live our lives in complete chaos shutting the divine out completely. Perfection hides within all, but the chaos of our lives prevents us from ever finding and living within this perfection. This perfection in life can only be achieved with practice and a complete desire to rid one's self of self will and ego. How then can someone achieve this when we live in a world that teaches us that happiness is derived primarily through material gain which is ego based. Well this is simply a question that one must ask themselves, a puzzle that is internal vs. external. Life altogether is a puzzle, each day is like a maze or a labyrinth. In the end we all end up in the same place but it is our choices that ultimately constitute the routes in which we take. I hope that all the eyes whose post this falls upon have a blessed and mysteriously glorious day. May you you all find the divine within yourself and the world around you.